GOOD EVENING BLOGGER!!
Wow, I haven't blogged for like 4 days! I've been so busy... Back to school - uggg...
Lately I have been having hectic mood swings, where I could be happy af and checking my Instagram and just seeing a specific type of photo or hearing an old song takes me back to the good days, and then I fall apart, I find myself falling onto my bed crying wondering where I went wrong.. I mean, is that normal? TBH I used to blame myself for my depression but I've figured out that it's not my fault, it's society. That certain type of society, that values money and wealth more than love. I'm still waiting until our generation will begin to value love and peace as much as they do with branded shit. Anyways, my best friend and I have decided, since this is our last 3 and a half months of school together, we are doing 100 things to do before high school, and TBH we have only done 4 things (bad hair day, say yes for a day, get in a physical fight and dance your ass off in the rain) this has taught me that my number one prioty should be myself and fuck anyone who disagrees. You are actually the most important person in your life. Life is short, stop worrying what others think and live while you can. One day we'll leave this all behind so live a life you love and will remember..
I quickly have to tell you about my physical fight today! This was my first physical fight ever because girls are usually more emotional and black mail kinda fighters but today.. Esh..
As you guys know, I've told you about my crush.. My frenemy and him are close right? But she always has to go along and make me jealous of their friendship. Today I kinda lost it, today was bad hair day and my bestie and I teased our hair and put them in one plait and one pony, and I walked past my frenemy and I heard her whisper to my crush, ew what a swine that slut is. I said "EXCUSE ME" she said "you heard me" and poured her milkshake over my head, I punched her in the face and she pushed me against the railing. Everyone was like breaking us up and shit but now she's ended up with a black eye and I ended up with stitches in my lip and a bruised hand from the punch. After school today, she said "hey girlfriend, sorry about the little oopsy today love you" I said "bitch please, this is only the beginning" lol OHHHHH ROASTEDDDD!!!!
But I noticed something today, my bae backed her away and checked if she was alright and not me while I was in the ambulance going to get stitches, so today I've been giving him bat all day and TBH I am feeling amazing. My lip may be killing me but I honestly have realized that I don't care anymore. Quote of the day; Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind - Dr Suess.
Will try to blog as much as possible, just really busy at school..
Sincerely,
The Online Optimist x
Tuesday 26 July 2016
Wednesday 20 July 2016
Day 5 - blog
Good morning Blogger!
It is now 12:55am and I'm feeling happy. No one is awake, except me , myself and I. These past few days I've finally found a song that comes in contact with my life. The weird thing is, it has no lyrics. It's an exceptional song, and it sort of make me want to break down and cry, but not just of sadness, of happiness to, it makes me want to look back on everything I've ever done and say "wow, I've come so far" the song is called River Flows in You, and I've fallen in love with this piece.
Anyways, apart from feeling happy I haven't done much.. I went to a market today and randomly saw a close friend of mine who had moved to Shanghai last year, he was on holiday and I just felt that click with him.. I've realized how much I've missed him. But anyways.. Hope all is well for you. You're a masterpiece. And no matter what happens, never change for anyone but yourself, and if there's something bothering someone about you, just remember, those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Sincerely
The Online Optimist x
It is now 12:55am and I'm feeling happy. No one is awake, except me , myself and I. These past few days I've finally found a song that comes in contact with my life. The weird thing is, it has no lyrics. It's an exceptional song, and it sort of make me want to break down and cry, but not just of sadness, of happiness to, it makes me want to look back on everything I've ever done and say "wow, I've come so far" the song is called River Flows in You, and I've fallen in love with this piece.
Anyways, apart from feeling happy I haven't done much.. I went to a market today and randomly saw a close friend of mine who had moved to Shanghai last year, he was on holiday and I just felt that click with him.. I've realized how much I've missed him. But anyways.. Hope all is well for you. You're a masterpiece. And no matter what happens, never change for anyone but yourself, and if there's something bothering someone about you, just remember, those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Sincerely
The Online Optimist x
Monday 18 July 2016
Day 4 - Blog
Good evening blogger!
Today I thought that I should start a new thing for my blog - Optimisitic Story time!
I will tell you guys a story that I think of, make it really creative and funny, just for you guys to read when you're bored... I will label them numerically so you can tell which ones you have and haven't read... Hope you guys are keen on the idea?
Sometimes I wonder if there is anyone even reading, after all, I haven't had any comments and only a few views, but I guess, since this is only the 4th day on my blog, I should give it some time...
Even if no one else is reading, this blog is a great way for my to vent out my problems, secrets, tips and tricks of a teenage girl, and the best part is , it's anonymous!
Here's some motivational quotes for you guys!
"The best way to predict the future, is to create it."
"Be somebody, no one thought you could be."
"Do something today, that your future self will thank you for."
Have a great day/night/evening/morning
Sincerely,
The Online Optimist
Today I thought that I should start a new thing for my blog - Optimisitic Story time!
I will tell you guys a story that I think of, make it really creative and funny, just for you guys to read when you're bored... I will label them numerically so you can tell which ones you have and haven't read... Hope you guys are keen on the idea?
Sometimes I wonder if there is anyone even reading, after all, I haven't had any comments and only a few views, but I guess, since this is only the 4th day on my blog, I should give it some time...
Even if no one else is reading, this blog is a great way for my to vent out my problems, secrets, tips and tricks of a teenage girl, and the best part is , it's anonymous!
Here's some motivational quotes for you guys!
"The best way to predict the future, is to create it."
"Be somebody, no one thought you could be."
"Do something today, that your future self will thank you for."
Have a great day/night/evening/morning
Sincerely,
The Online Optimist
Sunday 17 July 2016
WARNING - DEPRESSION BLOG
WARNING - DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY BLOG
Depression is a low mood that can affect a persons thoughts, behavior, feelings and sense of well being.
The way I think of depression, is like a disease. It's a disease that is caused from heartbreak, sadness, boredom, loneliness and emptiness. Realistically; Life events, Medical treatments, Substance-induced, non psychiatric illness, psychiatric syndromes, historical legacy or racial issue.
I too, have had an issue with depression and anxiety. The feeling of being so empty, but so full. So tired, but so awake. How it's so sad that time is going so fast, and your not living your life properly. depression is like a deep hole, and when you fall down it there seems like there could not be hope of climbing out. But there always is.
Rising from a fall is never easy, but it's possible. There are ways you can get over depression, and some you may think are helping, but actually, they make it worse; self harm. SELF HARM IS NOT THE ANSWER. I'm not sure how to take that subject because I know for sure that it's a long road to hell.
What I've learnt about humanity, is that they judge things they don't understand, it's the way the defend themselves. It causes a huge wall of emotion and emptiness. You feel worthless, and an online alternative to depression was - talking to someone. But to be totally honest... I know I have friends and people who support me, but I feel like I have no one to talk to about the shit in my head. The wall of depression gets taller and taller until, you just go numb. You go so numb because your used to it. You're used to the pain. The hurt. The heartbreak. You get so tired of putting your trust in humanity and they stab you in the back, so you go numb, you can't break a heart that's already been broken. And when you go numb, it's called tipping point, or point break, the time where you break down. You find yourself sitting against you cupboard crying at 3am and wondering when is it your turn to be happy? And what the hell did I do to let myself get to this. But if there's one thing I learnt about life - it goes on. Things change and you will fall down and you will rise eventually. You are strong.
Sincerely,
The Online Optimist xo
Depression is a low mood that can affect a persons thoughts, behavior, feelings and sense of well being.
The way I think of depression, is like a disease. It's a disease that is caused from heartbreak, sadness, boredom, loneliness and emptiness. Realistically; Life events, Medical treatments, Substance-induced, non psychiatric illness, psychiatric syndromes, historical legacy or racial issue.
I too, have had an issue with depression and anxiety. The feeling of being so empty, but so full. So tired, but so awake. How it's so sad that time is going so fast, and your not living your life properly. depression is like a deep hole, and when you fall down it there seems like there could not be hope of climbing out. But there always is.
Rising from a fall is never easy, but it's possible. There are ways you can get over depression, and some you may think are helping, but actually, they make it worse; self harm. SELF HARM IS NOT THE ANSWER. I'm not sure how to take that subject because I know for sure that it's a long road to hell.
What I've learnt about humanity, is that they judge things they don't understand, it's the way the defend themselves. It causes a huge wall of emotion and emptiness. You feel worthless, and an online alternative to depression was - talking to someone. But to be totally honest... I know I have friends and people who support me, but I feel like I have no one to talk to about the shit in my head. The wall of depression gets taller and taller until, you just go numb. You go so numb because your used to it. You're used to the pain. The hurt. The heartbreak. You get so tired of putting your trust in humanity and they stab you in the back, so you go numb, you can't break a heart that's already been broken. And when you go numb, it's called tipping point, or point break, the time where you break down. You find yourself sitting against you cupboard crying at 3am and wondering when is it your turn to be happy? And what the hell did I do to let myself get to this. But if there's one thing I learnt about life - it goes on. Things change and you will fall down and you will rise eventually. You are strong.
Sincerely,
The Online Optimist xo
Day 3 - blog
Good afternoon Blogger!
Today I've deicided to post my Depression and Anxiety warning.. It's a huge thing in my life and I feel like I need to be heard about this....
On a more positive note... I've decided to tell you some really funny things that happen I'm my life.
So, first up, you should know, that I am clumsy, and I go with my gut, and some times, it's not for the best.
So in about the first grade, the girls in my year would compare eachothers underwear colors and whoever had the same color/pattern as you on that day would be your best friend. That's it. So the one day, I stupidly forgot to put on underwear. Ok ok, don't judge, I was about 6... And I was standing on top of the jungle gym and my friend lifts up my dress and asks me what panties I'm wearing, and to her surprise, she screams to the teacher that I'm not wearing underwear. I get sent to the principals office and get sent home. I mean, wtf??? I was 6, cut me some slack.....
Ok another embarrassing memory was when I was about 4, and I just finished watching a movie at home, where the girl gets all dramatic about her life and cuts her hair very short, and my mom decides to take me to the shop.. In the shop, I decide to find some scissors, and cut all my hair while rehearsing the lines of the movie. My mom walks around the isle to find me, there, cutting my hair while screaming curse words at the hair brushes and scrunchies in that isle. It was kinda embarrassing, even for a four year old....
Next up was probably the most embarrassing memory ever....
I had just recently came out of a relationship with a close boyfriend and decided to spend the night at the arcade with my neighbor. My neighbor was doing one of those pull the lever games and just won 10 000 tickets... So I decided to go get a shopping cart to keep the tickets in. I brought the trolley and proudly decided to walk around the shopping mall and arcade with the tickets to show them off.. I told my neighbor to carry on playing while I walked around. So I was happily skipping along with my trolley and then I see my ex, with one of my close friends, coming out of the movie theater, I got so surprised I forgot to look where I was going and then my trolley fell down the stairs with me underneath it. And yes, they both saw, and probably thought "what a loser, at the arcade on a Friday night by herself"
Yup - so embarrassing....
Sincerely,
The Online Optimist xo
On a more positive note... I've decided to tell you some really funny things that happen I'm my life.
So, first up, you should know, that I am clumsy, and I go with my gut, and some times, it's not for the best.
So in about the first grade, the girls in my year would compare eachothers underwear colors and whoever had the same color/pattern as you on that day would be your best friend. That's it. So the one day, I stupidly forgot to put on underwear. Ok ok, don't judge, I was about 6... And I was standing on top of the jungle gym and my friend lifts up my dress and asks me what panties I'm wearing, and to her surprise, she screams to the teacher that I'm not wearing underwear. I get sent to the principals office and get sent home. I mean, wtf??? I was 6, cut me some slack.....
Ok another embarrassing memory was when I was about 4, and I just finished watching a movie at home, where the girl gets all dramatic about her life and cuts her hair very short, and my mom decides to take me to the shop.. In the shop, I decide to find some scissors, and cut all my hair while rehearsing the lines of the movie. My mom walks around the isle to find me, there, cutting my hair while screaming curse words at the hair brushes and scrunchies in that isle. It was kinda embarrassing, even for a four year old....
Next up was probably the most embarrassing memory ever....
I had just recently came out of a relationship with a close boyfriend and decided to spend the night at the arcade with my neighbor. My neighbor was doing one of those pull the lever games and just won 10 000 tickets... So I decided to go get a shopping cart to keep the tickets in. I brought the trolley and proudly decided to walk around the shopping mall and arcade with the tickets to show them off.. I told my neighbor to carry on playing while I walked around. So I was happily skipping along with my trolley and then I see my ex, with one of my close friends, coming out of the movie theater, I got so surprised I forgot to look where I was going and then my trolley fell down the stairs with me underneath it. And yes, they both saw, and probably thought "what a loser, at the arcade on a Friday night by herself"
Yup - so embarrassing....
Sincerely,
The Online Optimist xo
Saturday 16 July 2016
Day 2 - blog
Good evening Blogger!
Today has been pretty cool..
My half brother has flown down and we went to the beach on a walk at about 11:30am, and of course, Pokémon catching! There were like 10 Pokéstops! Then we went out for a lovely lunch.
I thought today I would tell you a little bit about my family....
First up, my parents are divorced.. And I struggled (as most kids do) quite badly with it. My father had an affair with my schools receptionist and well, I've never forgiven him. Since then, I have built an extremely strong bond with my mother. We are an inseparable team.
My mother was married before she married my father, and had a son. So he is my half brother.
She then had a divorce with my half brothers dad and then married my father. 2 years after they got married, I was born, on the 3rd of April 2003. Then my father got a job as the principle of my school and we moved onto the school property. When I was 5, my mother found out about the affair and filed for a divorce. This absolutely crushed me. I wasn't sure what was going on but I knew it was terrible. My father married the woman he had an affair with. She had 2 kids, older than me, and they were my step brother and step sister. A couple years later my step mom had a daughter, her name is Rachel! She is now turning 4. We are so close, even though she is young, she waits until I go to my dads house every second weekend. Rachel is my half sister.
Yup, I know.. It's complicated.
Oh, and by the way, my wifi got fixed! Hallelujah.
I'll probably try to blog a lot more now that it's fixed.
Sincerely,
The Online Optimist.
Today has been pretty cool..
My half brother has flown down and we went to the beach on a walk at about 11:30am, and of course, Pokémon catching! There were like 10 Pokéstops! Then we went out for a lovely lunch.
I thought today I would tell you a little bit about my family....
First up, my parents are divorced.. And I struggled (as most kids do) quite badly with it. My father had an affair with my schools receptionist and well, I've never forgiven him. Since then, I have built an extremely strong bond with my mother. We are an inseparable team.
My mother was married before she married my father, and had a son. So he is my half brother.
She then had a divorce with my half brothers dad and then married my father. 2 years after they got married, I was born, on the 3rd of April 2003. Then my father got a job as the principle of my school and we moved onto the school property. When I was 5, my mother found out about the affair and filed for a divorce. This absolutely crushed me. I wasn't sure what was going on but I knew it was terrible. My father married the woman he had an affair with. She had 2 kids, older than me, and they were my step brother and step sister. A couple years later my step mom had a daughter, her name is Rachel! She is now turning 4. We are so close, even though she is young, she waits until I go to my dads house every second weekend. Rachel is my half sister.
Yup, I know.. It's complicated.
Oh, and by the way, my wifi got fixed! Hallelujah.
I'll probably try to blog a lot more now that it's fixed.
Sincerely,
The Online Optimist.
Friday 15 July 2016
Day one - Blog
Good Afternoon Blogger!
After my all nighter I officially fell asleep at 5:30am, and woke up at 1:30pm. TGIH (thank goodness it's holidays) am I right? Anyways - my wifi is lagging so badly, I have to use my cellular, at home?!
So anyways, last night (or should I say this morning?) I had the weirdest dream.. My friend and I owned a pet sloth named George, and we would exchange keeping it over a weekly period.. When I came to get my time with George (the sloth), my friend wouldn't give it to me, so I got like really, really mad, and I started shooting my gun (wtf, I know) through the roof?! Then my friend and George called the police and I got arrested... 30 years in prison later, I came to find my friend, so I tracked him down through Facebook and Instagram and then I tracked him to a hair salon.. So I decided to go and see how he's been. I appeared at the salon and he was shouting and throwing the hair dyes all around the room because all the people were asking for the blonde dye and he had ran out of it.
Yup - that's a day in the life of my brain..
So anyways, I have to tell you about my friend.
I am completely, in love with him. So much so that I went through a depression stage because I knew that he has a life and I don't and I knew that he would never ever even notice me, so I kinda (don't judge, it took a lot to put this into the big wide world of Internet) went through a self harm stage.. But anyways, what's in the past is in the past I guess? I'm now free from cutting for 2 whole months, and (touch wood) forever I'm sure.. Lately, this friend and I have been hanging out, and I've got to say, my world has gotten so much brighter! But that's kind of what scares me, if something happens between us two now, I'll probably go back into depression and never come out. I'm going to write a post about depression, self harm and anxiety soon, i think everyone's been dreading a post like that, but it has to be said.
So wish my wifi luck I guess?
Sincerely,
The Online Optimist. xo
After my all nighter I officially fell asleep at 5:30am, and woke up at 1:30pm. TGIH (thank goodness it's holidays) am I right? Anyways - my wifi is lagging so badly, I have to use my cellular, at home?!
So anyways, last night (or should I say this morning?) I had the weirdest dream.. My friend and I owned a pet sloth named George, and we would exchange keeping it over a weekly period.. When I came to get my time with George (the sloth), my friend wouldn't give it to me, so I got like really, really mad, and I started shooting my gun (wtf, I know) through the roof?! Then my friend and George called the police and I got arrested... 30 years in prison later, I came to find my friend, so I tracked him down through Facebook and Instagram and then I tracked him to a hair salon.. So I decided to go and see how he's been. I appeared at the salon and he was shouting and throwing the hair dyes all around the room because all the people were asking for the blonde dye and he had ran out of it.
Yup - that's a day in the life of my brain..
So anyways, I have to tell you about my friend.
I am completely, in love with him. So much so that I went through a depression stage because I knew that he has a life and I don't and I knew that he would never ever even notice me, so I kinda (don't judge, it took a lot to put this into the big wide world of Internet) went through a self harm stage.. But anyways, what's in the past is in the past I guess? I'm now free from cutting for 2 whole months, and (touch wood) forever I'm sure.. Lately, this friend and I have been hanging out, and I've got to say, my world has gotten so much brighter! But that's kind of what scares me, if something happens between us two now, I'll probably go back into depression and never come out. I'm going to write a post about depression, self harm and anxiety soon, i think everyone's been dreading a post like that, but it has to be said.
So wish my wifi luck I guess?
Sincerely,
The Online Optimist. xo
Thursday 14 July 2016
I have started a blog!
Wow, I totally can't believe I'm doing this...
I'm putting my feelings onto the Internet and trust me, it scares the hell out of me.
But I guess, this will be like a diary, except anyone can see it, but anyways..
Here goes...
Good Morning Blogger!
I have officially started a blog!
First things first, I am a female, and I'm a teenager.
I go to an ordinary school, and well, I'm pretty ordinary.. Well that's what everyone thinks..
But I'm different. Ever since I was young, I noticed I was different. At first I thought it was the best way I could be different possible, but now that I'm older, I know the truth, and well basically, the truth sucks.
It's 4am here and I've been up all night, watching Netflix of course.. And I decided to start this blog. I think it's a really good alternative for all of my problems. Just a space, where I can let everything out.
In the year 2016 I have turned 13 and I can easily say that life is absolutely crap. I am suffering with anxiety and depression. This is not anything to joke about, I can assure you. But if there's a main thing I've learnt about growing up, is that, no matter what, I am strong, and most importantly, anything is possible. Wow- I think I've gotten a little bit too deep for my first blog - haha..
Sincerely,
The Online Optimist
I'm putting my feelings onto the Internet and trust me, it scares the hell out of me.
But I guess, this will be like a diary, except anyone can see it, but anyways..
Here goes...
Good Morning Blogger!
I have officially started a blog!
First things first, I am a female, and I'm a teenager.
I go to an ordinary school, and well, I'm pretty ordinary.. Well that's what everyone thinks..
But I'm different. Ever since I was young, I noticed I was different. At first I thought it was the best way I could be different possible, but now that I'm older, I know the truth, and well basically, the truth sucks.
It's 4am here and I've been up all night, watching Netflix of course.. And I decided to start this blog. I think it's a really good alternative for all of my problems. Just a space, where I can let everything out.
In the year 2016 I have turned 13 and I can easily say that life is absolutely crap. I am suffering with anxiety and depression. This is not anything to joke about, I can assure you. But if there's a main thing I've learnt about growing up, is that, no matter what, I am strong, and most importantly, anything is possible. Wow- I think I've gotten a little bit too deep for my first blog - haha..
Sincerely,
The Online Optimist
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